I am holding on to something
strange and bright
heavy yet dark
I cannot recall what it is
or if I can
let it break me
clean my dusty bones
my broken ribs my shallow smile
I close my eyes
as tight as seeds
grow a field with my dreams
my fears are crows perched upon a fence
she was my scarecrow
at night
I let her hold my heart
it is small
but too big for my body
she sings to it
songs I know but my mother never sang me
never held me and never told me
son, one day you will be a big man
one who can lift city's and people  
one who shall write poems
and love a girl like it was the last thing you ever do
cause it is
cause all you've never had is love
when it was all you've ever wanted
and was all you've ever gave
and this heart is small
but he hands away his beat by big handfuls
never wanted it anyway
never wanted the dreams
but they do come
come by threes
by the backs of dead star dust
like billows of black smoke
swallows me whole
buries me alive
the sky was a graveyard
and the stars were the tombstones
she wakes me from the nightmares
my palms like rivers
I cannot hold her
she puts my hands to her chest
the beat was ever so bright
heavy yet dark
*my body is not a coat of razor's  
you can hold me
just try