I know
That someday
I will have to stop checking for updates
Waiting to see if there is anything new in your life
Anyone new in your life
I am not in your life
But I still look at your pictures now and then
To remind myself what you look like
I do not want to forget anytime soon
I know
That you forgot me long ago
But I hold on to hope that maybe
You wonder about me
Read my poetry
Type my name in at the top of your screen
Look for my image on media that is anything but social
My eyes used to light up
Every time your name did on my phone
A type of high I'd only get
From knowing that you were thinking of me
I still think of you, you know
And the nights where I can't sleep I find myself searching for you
You are not difficult to find
I know
It is a waste of energy
To keep following you
But it's so easy
When your footprints are everywhere
Your trail intertwined with mine
Your promise is still imprinted on my tongue
And disappointment still lingers on my skin
The light in my eyes is now gone
It has been replaced with a dull ache
And artificial happiness
I know
I need to stop condemning myself to this torture
There is no more future for us
There never was
There never will be
I know
I need to stop looking for you
You are not looking for me.