nighttime still embraces me
while I wipe the thinking
from my eyes
& it is not what I want
it's not the arms of the one I long for

Nor is it the feeling found in
the pit of my stomach that I
once had lost for so long-
slight naïveté, mostly hopeful
but extremely unfamiliar

if this isn't nausea it must
be unrelenting infatuation

my bones shutter while I walk
and my head is ringing

you were with me last night
more than you know,
the hand that guided bottle to
my mouth I could feel you
there, I drank with you draped about me

but the more I drank, the more
wise I became
it was not you at all
but the propagation
of fears and feelings you induce

I swear your scent was in the air, though

I still drink for you, dear
it's a sweet poison and it brings
me closer to you

this morning is gloomy in
the wake of wanting you more&more