First, If I'm outside losing my **** and you say you're going to do something. To help you don't just say I don't feel good anymore or I need to sleep or you're overreacting, I know I'm FUCJING overreacting that's why I need you for ***** sake. Second, I'd like to give a shoutout to the security guard who put **** in perspective for me tonight. Okay so there I was on the 5th floor, my rooms on the first floor so Yes I walked up 4 floors at 12:30, and as I'm up there stumbling around breaking down I hear a mans voice say hey bud what in gods name are you doing. And I tell him the truth I'm walking around cause i feel like **** I feel worthless and I just want stuff to be done. I don't know why or how I confided in him but that doesn't matter because I'll never see him again. He walked up to me and said look I'm here because someone called and said there's a teenage boy out here walking around by the ledge of the top of a building so I came out. And he said look if you're thinking of doing anything don't because all these people payed a lot of money to come here and if you were to happen to end up as a splat down there, it would be a hell of a vacation ruiner for them and I know that sounds bad but sometimes you just have to **** it up for other people cause if you can help others be happy it's worth it. Then he said goto bed and i went back to my room and my friend mel told me we can't be friends anymore. So I'm back out here cause **** those people if I want to jump and **** myself their happiness will have no effect on that and if I don't post by 12 tomorrow afternoon I did jump. So if this is goodnight all sleep tight and live your life the best you can. And to my family ******* for every insult and rude comment you've said to me and dad I guess I am just a big old ******* disappointment after all.