First things first I'm at the beach. It's awesome, we're on a little island and it's all rich white people. Today me and my cousin walked barefoot through a marsh for 3 hours and I cut my toe and he sliced his foot open. We got chased by alligators and cops and I had fried alligator for dinner(it was great btw) and the best part of all of this is that the last girl that cheated on me is texting me and she is all for being friends yet she can't see why I'm not all into the idea of bffs after I found out she'd been ******* some German kid named Elmo. He's a ****** too, but hey I'm a super huge ******* anyways so it's expected. She keeps saying me and This girl will be a cute couple. How do I politely tell her to **** a fat one. It's midnight and she won't stop texting me *** does she want. She said something happened at a party the night after she met my parents.... Waiting to know what she says is kinda gut wrenching. She said she did it because the guy was nice to her... The **** (my farts smell like alligator