I am dreadfully, perhaps mortifyingly , sorry for any mild profanity, and, whilst feeling for, nay, concurring with those whose forbearance is as the most estimable and valued blessing ,that anyone such as myself would be most humbled to recieve, and , may I say, would be willing to reciprocate should dire need ever raise its sullen visage,  that the shameful and scurrilous dissertion so poorly arrayed before all your so flattering and, dare I say, insightful, although (Tu raison!) critical gaze, was written in a positve, unseemly as it may be, and, respectfully begging the collective pardon of your kind selves, rush!  Theretofore, I claim your editorial mercy for the seeds  of this grass of Parnassus, though it may seem that my golden fields of favoured poetry have been laid low by the glowering face and grimacing winds of my own ineptitude .  I am, sirs and, should those shimmering daughters of Helen themselves bless me, with the merest glance of their grace,  ladies, most earnestly at your service, Vicomte De Vomite X