**** that blinking blue like you see when you're about to send a text because I just sat here staring at a conversation I was having with m.g and I couldn't think of anything to say because she hates me and wants nothing more than for me to just cease existing and I want to make her wish come true but I can't and that is a whole other world that I'll probably talk about some other time. But I'm just sitting there staring at the line and it's blinking and blinking and ******* blinking and every time it blinks I hate myself a little bit more and I get more and more frustrated because I can't say anything because I want to just explode and tell her how much I love her and want her and need her but I know that if I do she'll tell me to ******* and  I hate myself so much and I want to die but I want to live and I sent her two birthday presents a little plushy and a camera but I'm sure the second she sees it's from me she's going to throw it in the trash. She meant everything to me and I ruined it. I ******* hate that ******* blinking blue line.