metal hearts were my thing for while
they'd hang off my neck
bump against my chest
one time a particularly heavy one swung up
punched me in the mouth
gave me a ****** lip.

i used to have an effect on people.
i used to be bright
and loud
and awake
and people always remembered me
always wanted me around

i used to stand for something
mean something
when i thought there was something worth existing for.

i miss having that purpose
that purpose of making someone's life a little better
that purpose of tough love

brianna remembers me as i was
glitter and cat ears
and big hugs
but she also recognizes that i am gone now
that my receding back looks dull
tired
worn down

i let all the things i preached against beat me down
take my happiness

i'd take it back but i don't know how
don't know where it went
don't know exactly when
don't know how to feel things
or anything
again

those metal hearts i wore so proudly
dug their way inside of me
i am now the tin man
heartless and cold to the touch

i used to mean something.
ask anyone i used to know.