My dad has started speaking the tongue of the mentally ill
he is living the life of a man I don’t recognize
I am afraid of my own father
I am afraid he will **** me and my mother when my brother leaves
I miss the man who used to live in his body
but I know he is dead
because my father smells like death
he can’t take care of himself
I am so worried
for all of us
for him
I love my father
now and for what he used to be
but I don’t like him anymore
not for what he’s turned my family into
not for the disease I think he gave me
I don’t think my parents love each other any more
but I am afraid of our our safety if my mom tries to leave
I just want my family to be happy again
but I don’t think we can
not like this.
I miss the way we used to be
and watching my parents be an example for what love should be
I miss wanting my friends to come to my house
I miss feeling safe
I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish with this
I don’t think anyone will really read it
but I don’t have any other way of getting this out
I just want it to be okay again
but I know it won’t ever be
at least not the same okay it used to be
but most of all I am afraid
that I will turn into the man my father became