what makes us truly happy? what do we really want in life? i can't help but feel that we can never be really satisfied of what we have at the moment. we are too focused on what we do not have than the things we actually have.

we try to make things perfect, but realize things will not be perfect, it never will be. that ideal lifestyle, that perfect life, who doesn't want that?  we all try to work towards achieving the 'perfect' life that we dream of, that we might lose things dear to us without knowing in the process. you wish for things to turn out the way you want. we always want them to. yet things just don't necessary turn out the way you want them to be. we are then filled with regret, sadness, disappointment, and unhappiness. for giving it our all yet not achieving much.

we try all ways to release or relieve that unhappiness, stress and dissatisfaction. it's not working. it would just all pile up again in the end. this crazy vicious cycle of trying to solve problems yet not all problems can be solved.

it feels so restricting, it's as if there's always a deep weight that is constantly crushing my chest. i can't breathe, it's not that i do not want to. everything is just so tiring, that i wish i could take a break, let time stop. the constant clicking of the clock is getting too pressing.

this is the reality, and i have not learnt to accept the reality. i just can't bring myself to tear naïvety off me, thinking that things will always be fine in the end.

but is it actually wrong to have some hope in your life?
maybe this is why i feel so lost, it's as if i'm in a maze that i can never escape from.