Day and night I think of you. Everything about you; the way you smile and laugh, the way your eyes light up when you do, all the freckles on your face, your messy hair, just everything about you. I love you, I still do, I never stopped. But I let you go without realizing, and now I know but there's nothing I can do about it, it's too late. I let you go and started to welt. I became a flower who resulted in her own death. I dream about kissing your lips and head every night but wake up to the burning of alcohol and cigarettes on my tongue instead. They say that love is beautiful, but never have they ever mentioned about the hurt and addiction. You became the drug in my veins and I suddenly died watching you running out of my body without having the guts to say a word. I still can't get you out of my mind not that I ever want to. You will be my poison until the day I die, I know that already. If I could go back, I would tell you everything I know. So maybe instead of me wrapped up in my blanket dreaming it's you, our limbs would be intertwined and I wouldn't have to dream about kissing you because I actually could. But I can't go back in time and I can't change things so all I can do is hope you realized what we had and maybe we could meet again in the future and then I could tell you everything. But until then I have to bear with dreams and daydreams of you, thinking about you every second of the day. Until then I have to try and stop thinking of you but that will never happen because I'm not that strong. I can drown the thoughts of you with *****, so instead of you running through my veins I have alcohol. But even drunk I think of you no matter how hard I try. So I can stop trying and let thoughts of you overthrow every other thought in my dumb brain and let my stupid heart take over.