This place is my release,
A white screen in front of my eyes
waiting to be filled with a story
that emerges from the tiniest thought,
the most fleeting sight,
the most faltering emotion.
Whatever shoves me around,
whatever makes me fly,
this place keeps me grounded
to where I am the safest.
And sometimes,
when I don’t know what brings me here,
I just listen to the clicking of the keyboard
held prey beneath my fingertips,
hoping to see the answer reveal itself.
That didn’t happen this time.
My heart hangs heavy in my chest,
held there by cages of bone and blood,
swinging from an avid artery
back and forth,
back and forth,
like the ticking of a clock
tracking the time till I explode.
Have I detonated yet?
Maybe, when the clicking stops,
it means I’m whole again,
without needing to learn of what ails me.
I have nothing to say here.
I have yearnings of freedom
crying through my nerves here.
May they release with these words here,
calm with these words here,
rest with these words here,
so I can go on with the earth here.
Can it stop me from unease?
Will my eyes lift again
to the beat of a heart left floating?
I still hear it,
the clicking of the keyboard
held prey beneath my fingertips,
held pray beneath my fingertips.
Can it lead me out of this one?
This place is my release.