I was hoping you'd understand,
but a while back I took your worn out edges and folded them back and forth so I could tear you apart easier.

I regret it now because all I have been doing is trying to put your pieces back together.
You never came back together.
Yesterday I was playing pretend with your shadow.
I was pretending that I never gave up praying for you.

The truth however is that I did
and maybe a part of that was because I never truly had faith in anything.
I was just hoping you'd stay a little longer.

Sometimes I'm convinced that I'll hear you say my name,
but it's really me trying to remember the way you sounded in the recorded messages left on the machine.
Back then I could've never expressed the discontent I felt.

Let's pretend that if you read these poems that maybe things would've been different.