regret
i know the word all too well
after all i've done to you.

i know it within the concaves and crevices of my heart
with every stream of pulsing blood,
the regret goes round and round my body
consuming me.

it reaches every nerve,
exploding like fireworks and an all raging flame,
whenever you're near.

just to remind me of the pain i have caused

i wish i could gather the courage
not even to explain
but to say sorry
for being the horrible, selfish and cowardly person i am
because i know explanations would just sound like excuses.

*–– s.m.