you’re still gutting me open
as I sleep.
my heart races at the thought of us...

1.
being so casual with each other;
we have our jokes over
pourover coffees while
we make comments on each other’s
Agonized-over,
whiskey-induced writing.

no one else
has such the privilege as I.

2.
going for walks in the evenings;
we have our places &
our friends to see, but
Neither is so important as
that we sleep next to each other
that night & each night from now on.

no one else
has such the privilege as I.

3.
waking in the morning’s gentle light;
Dreaming,
even as I lay awake.
in one hand, you clutch our blanket,
in the other,
me.

no one else
has such the privilege as I.

4.
feeling no hesitation;
so in love with each other
that we bend, but never break.
you chase,
& you catch—
Reverie is ours.

no one else
has such the privilege as I.

5.
spending weekends in our bed;
your hands,
at one moment,
curled around your novel.
the next,
Entangled in my hair.

no one else
has such the privilege as I.

6.
Watching our children leave for school;
I have to go to work, honey.
I know you’re late,
but I still pin you to the wall
before giving you your lunch
on your way out.

no one else
has such the privilege as I.

--
*I awaken.
it is morning
& I am breathing,
though dripping in our blood.