to stand
in your arms
long and slender
reaching toward the sky
the sun glowing on your skin
the memories i carry
made long before the wildfire
destroyed it all.

you thought i chose him but i had no choice at all.
in my heart, i never forgot
you and i in your bed for the first time.
the way the hair fell down to your chin
hiding those blue eyes.
that townhouse. the silk necklace you made for me.
kissing at parties. holding hands in your car.

frozen forever just like that in my mind.

my only crime;
loving what i couldn't have and having what i couldn't love.
never the same love twice. never like you.

i will never smell your hair again,
never touch my legs to yours.
i try so hard to remember
your laugh, your sweet voice
singing the songs we loved
listening and wondering
if we could ever be good enough
but
you always were.