Coffee keeps me awake at night,
and keeps the terrors at bay,
But childhood fears don't just lurk in the dark,
they are present even at midday.

As a young girl, I had hopes and dreams--
those of white gowns and comforting arms,
not only those of a man at the end of my aisle,
but also those of a father whose every cough is an alarm.

When I was ten, I said it aloud,
that one thing I feared the most--
that he wouldn't walk me down the aisle,
or be able to stand and clink his glass for our first toast.

Sometimes my father says he's fine,
but other times you know he thinks he's do.
I know he prays for me all the time,
but it's a little late since my nightmares are true.