Jul 2014
When I met him, I met the first boy who would drive me insane, and when he left me I couldn't think straight for 5 years. Sometimes I hate him, sometimes I would kneel at his feet, sometimes he still haunts me.
Then I met a boy who rolled along gravel for longer hours than he could ever stay in his own home and when he left me and I didn't leave my house for a week. He used my body for his sick little games of cat and mouse and never once considered what this would all do to me. I got very sick sometime in January because of his constant ridicule and the jokes of others, they put me on meds for stress related pain. I'm glad I don't ever have to see him again. The sight of him makes me want to *****.
Then after him I met a boy who loved the way I wrote but was not intellectual in the slightest and when he left me I cried for five days and two months. He chose a lover of longer years over someone who saw sunshine in his eyes, however I guess I just didn't examine the dust in his heart. Maybe I should've looked closer. Would that have saved me?
And then sometime later, I met you, I thought I found the one who meant his every word and he was better than all 3 handsome devils combined. You called me you're little sunflower and said I made you feel human. But when you left me I realized that you were nothing but a liar, a pathetic piece of boy who I only found attractive because of what I thought he could see inside me a boy who told all the sweetest of lies when really all along he was just like the rest. You left me for the same reason as the last, however none of these boys have captured my attention so profoundly, now I really do feel lost. You said you'd be there whenever I needed you, and well it's 4:04 am and I'm crying my eyes out and I feel like gagging up my memories. Where are you? I need you.
Where are you when I need you?
*vm
Then I met a boy who rolled along gravel for longer hours than he could ever stay in his own home and when he left me and I didn't leave my house for a week. He used my body for his sick little games of cat and mouse and never once considered what this would all do to me. I got very sick sometime in January because of his constant ridicule and the jokes of others, they put me on meds for stress related pain. I'm glad I don't ever have to see him again. The sight of him makes me want to *****.
Then after him I met a boy who loved the way I wrote but was not intellectual in the slightest and when he left me I cried for five days and two months. He chose a lover of longer years over someone who saw sunshine in his eyes, however I guess I just didn't examine the dust in his heart. Maybe I should've looked closer. Would that have saved me?
And then sometime later, I met you, I thought I found the one who meant his every word and he was better than all 3 handsome devils combined. You called me you're little sunflower and said I made you feel human. But when you left me I realized that you were nothing but a liar, a pathetic piece of boy who I only found attractive because of what I thought he could see inside me a boy who told all the sweetest of lies when really all along he was just like the rest. You left me for the same reason as the last, however none of these boys have captured my attention so profoundly, now I really do feel lost. You said you'd be there whenever I needed you, and well it's 4:04 am and I'm crying my eyes out and I feel like gagging up my memories. Where are you? I need you.
Where are you when I need you?
*vm
