There were times where thoughts didn’t exist

people didn’t confuse me

and everything was alright in the world.

There were times when I didn’t worry

and stress didn’t control my digestive system

and I didn’t need to medicate.

There were times I did not trust to be alone by myself,

for fear of my own destruction caused by myself

I didn’t understand the strength of the situation.

There were people I trusted who now are no longer

they don’t carry the same heartfelt endearment that was gifted

they don’t have a care in the world.

There were times where I neer thought about looking

scrolling through messages to find a false

a death occured.

There were times when I was somewhat whole,

somewhat capable,

somewhat caring of my own rights and my own dreams.

There were times where I put the right things first,

There were times where I said the things that were meant to be said

There were times where I saw myself in a succesful way of life

There were times where I did not want to just run away

There were times where I knew myself better

There were times where I was allowed to feel

There were times where I saw the people around me care

There were times where people actually meant something to me

There were times where I knew things had worth

There were times where I believed

There were times where I sought love

There were times where I sought truth

There were times where I sought life

There were times where I felt I wasn’t a caged animal

And now I’m in hell, prison, being objectified and slaughtered by those who are of lesser caricatures than life

There were times where I knew the face of the devil

There were times where I would banish this evil

But for some reason I think I’m stuck

I think I’m here for the realness promised

There were secrets kept,

Lies told,

And trust lost!