I know that I'm getting sick again
Because every hour of silence makes me think that you don't love me
And it's getting harder to convince myself that you should
You don't seem to have noticed how walled up I am, but I'm sorry
And I am so glad that you didn't hear me crying while you slept
Because I am so in love with you and you shouldn't love me back
It's unhealthy for me to centre my life around you, and I know it
But I can't help that you're everything that I never thought I'd get
Where we're at now, we can only see each other on the weekends
And those few days are everything that I live for and want to maintain
But as the week goes on I lose myself to needing you and I fade so fast
I try to keep myself occupied during the day while I can
Working my skin to the bones and burning the breath from my lungs
But come night time, I sink and I sit in the dark with no sound
I just don't know how to get out of this slump yet again
I don't know how to believe that it's worth it in the end
Dragging people down is a specialty that I would like to break
As opposed to the constant chance of breaking you
Or the recurrence of the thought that a break up would be best
Jesus Christ, darling I am such an awful and worthless mess
Every day I see other men who could replace me and probably should
When it comes down to it, you deserve a world that I cannot give
And that's a horrible thought that makes me cry when the room is quiet
You are everywhere as my mind is all over the place and again I'm sorry
Every part of my very being needs you just so that I can live
But I won't guilt you to stay or create expectations that I don't have
Every part of my very being knows that you should leave and become your best
I know that I am getting sick again
And that if I listen to the virus in my head, I'll be damned