Onetwothreefour Onetwothreefourfivesixseven Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight. Onetwothreefour Onetwothreefourfivesixseven Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight. Onetwothe blinding light. Bright. ****. Onetwothreefourfi—ants. Crawling up and down my spine. Fire. Electrifying my veins Ripriprip them out. Bleed the bad out. ****. Onetwothreefourfivesixsev There is no solitude. There is no true isolation When every time my eyelids shut His face is branded on the inside like veins. Proteins and cells dance together Into memories far gone and much missed. One breath in. If only that would do the trick. But there is obligation in it. Follow up required. Two doctors that told me depression was normal. Follow ups every week to month To when the next bad reaction to medication. Three times I accepted him back into my life. Why did I let him in again? The flame of ******* is always to be chased After the first hit. Four times That I actually remember him say That he loved me. But it would be zero As to the number of times he proved so. Five years since I have been happy. Or is it more? I don’t remember anymore. Six…six…six… Because I chose to side with the devil Since God would not love me. Seven was my lucky number Until I concluded that Luck must not run in my family. Eight. Open. In. Onetwothreefour. Hold. Still. Onetwothreefourfivesixseven. Outoutout. Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight. Are you okay now?