Today I ended it
I left him

He told me he loves me
& didn't want to be without me

But I can't do it
I can't let him in

So like a turtle
I'll hide back in my shell
& shut out the world

I leave in 43 days
For the hospital & forced medications

& I know this is poorly written
But I feel like I lost myself

I can't do this anymore
I don't know what to do