So far away.
These few feet in distance
Apart
from
them
Laughing faces.
Good times.
Friends of mine.
The next room over
and I can see them
But I can't see myself fitting.
Cards and Games.
***** and ****.
Loud voices.
Camraderie.
Why not me?
I want to join
but
I don't want to join.
I listen to their conversations
wallow in myself
with bluegrass
and cigarettes
as company.
Why not me?
I want to join
but
I dont want to join.
Alone.
Detached.
Broke up with the universe.
Too much fun in this room
It's suffocating.
Obnoxious.
I want to be obnoxious.
I want to suffocate
in joy and all around warmth.
But I'm claustrophobic
I'll stand
apart.
Cold.
Alone.
But lonely?