The white light on my patio saw it all
its light through the window screen
left little lines all over our bodies - his arm,
my leg,
his feet, my cheek
it saw as I told what I had never told
stupid, little things that formed at my lips
and my surprise as he didn't run away
it watched as we moved together in fast, anxious rhythms
as I tried to connect mental thoughts and physical feelings
trying and instead
realized I loved him
we were new and raw and embarrassed and free
it saw my incredulity when he cried
and told me he wanted to help me not be sad about my father's illness
and told me he was scared at how much he liked me
I had fallen into his arms months ago
but now I felt their strength around me
and I understood that life and love isn't just about the physical,
natural cravings and desires
but the feelings and emotions and experiences
and I fell asleep in his arms
I have never trusted so deeply
I am young, I know
I don't know everything
I'm hardly beginning to understand
but it was bliss being with him that night
a light inside me was burning