I wish I could feel something.
I wish I could literally
put into words
what I wish I could feel.
I feel nothing;
I am numb.
My thoughts
race
so fast,
I can barely keep up with them.

I am scared,
not of situations,
but of consequences.
I refuse to speak out.
I'm safe in my
self protection,
self control.

I've never been honest.
I've ignored everything,
and I'm beginning to learn
my limits
my fears
my favourite things,
that I thought I knew.
To find oneself,
how long does it take?

I've been hiding,
behind my mask,
lying to myself,
forcing feeling;
everything I've ever known.

But the **** truth is,
I still feel nothing.