I am floating in my fantasies tonight.
Can’t decide if I’m sad or resolved
Things that could have been
Fall like dust on my table
I want to sweep them away
But I need to think of their random patterns
And uselessness….at least a little more.
It’s a trap, a tempting trap
I won’t fall in, but will dip my toes.
Do I have any more control of the past
Than of tomorrow?
I am already regretting a future
That has not yet disappointed me.
But I sense it will.
I need to live in the present
Away from what could have
And what should have
And what might, but won’t.
This music doesn’t help.
Just the melancholy soundtrack of my life.
Each note mirrors my heartbeat
Struggling to be heard.
But it will be.
These dreams are mine
And they won’t float away
In the river of memory.