My heart aches with the overwhelming feeling of depression, A feeling that gravity itself is pulling at the thread that holds everything together. And yet it's the thread that binds my pain to my heart. I can't hold back the tears anymore, I can't control my emotions, I can no longer keep the blade of tragedy and agony sheathed.
My heart it burns with the want and need of release, A feeling that the single thread that keeps me together has come loose. It is good. And it is bad. I can't hold on anymore, I can't even feel the pain anymore, I can no longer grasp the light-- but the hilt of that blade seems to fit to easily and comfortably into my hand.
A win-lose situation. And a repetitive process. A continuum.
My heart it bleeds from the wound that the blade has created from my own hands, A feeling of finally being released from the hold of that single thread. And yet.. The horrifying emotions will eventually return, Just as the thread will sew itself back through those worn out places of my heart.
SSK<3 AKA: Valerie
This is actually a poem I wrote during my depressive state while struggling with Bi Polar disorder. I'm officially stabilized, and working, and going back to school. But this is just only a fragment of how I used to feel when I was depressed. The poem structure and story almost doesn't make any sense at all. But that was how I felt all the time. And it didn't make any sense.
I'm posting this because I actually really like it, despite how disorganized the writing is. And I feel like I need a taste of something dark in my collection on this site.