you were the sun and the thunder all at once
I saw you through the rain
that night we were dancing on top of police cars
running across the river
to this day
it stills smells sour
like the syringes you promised me
you'd never touch again

i was looking for an escape
you were looking for someone to change
you said it's not peer pressure
it's just your turn

but this isn't about those nights
we stole ***** from your dad's cabinet
danced to dubstep
stuck spinning
wishing
wanting
forgiving
dim days cracked open
like my ribcage
i wanted to give you everything tucked away
that no one else had uncovered
that night tucked underneath
your lost promises
pierced right through me

but I'm grown enough
to leave those bleached white
suburban downy wishes behind
left me crying in the kitchen
like this was all my fault
the blood isn't just on my hands
both of us
ran away from the days
we ran away to the pool house
hid out in the backseat
but now i'm grown enough
and i'm still stuck spinning
wishing
wanting
forgiving
on my own

i saw you through the rain
and i wonder when you decided
that you would be the one to tear me apart
on and off
making wishes on dying stars
but you were my galaxy
i traced your outline on the dust next to me
this backseat is so
empty

and i hope you're much better now
i hope you got to achieve
all the **** we talked about
over cigarettes and coffee
and those are the nights
i hope i won't forget
you're 10,000 miles away
i won't forget
the way your skin felt
unexplainably smooth
how nervous i felt
just standing next o you
but really i just want to thank you
for filling me up
then leaving me out to dry
and i hate it when people see me cry
so i hid my face in your arms

but now you're gone
and i'm finally starting
to dry my tears on my own