Tamir is Israeli. I don't know what that means beyond he speaks Hebrew, came at one point from that area, and keeps dark-skinned friends.
I'm trying to cultivate a lethal talent because one day I want to **** people by painting them as they are
(and when you're known as yourself you have nothing else)
but all my days are micro montages, characters grandiose, come and go drink a beer, do a line, perhaps chat about the politics of Germany France UK Belgium a little high. and then they go.
this is a great city on maybe the world's longest coast and odds are tomorrow, 87%, the whole day will be grey and fog and a halfdark cloak with a sort of haphazard mist that isn't rain, but somehow in the grey condenses enough to slippen tiles, dampen jackets, water roses where everywhere it blow.
within four weeks men in black jackets, ties sunglasses and training will come for me and though I have accomplished much and in a way am capable I will try and throw myself from a nearby cliff and I dream at night of the *****, of wonder how far out I'd have to leap to hit the highway below. (and honestly politely hoping I don't disrupt too much traffic when I go)
because there is a life lived and a life worth living and this molecular decomposition holds no loyalty on me. but I guess I had some faith that I would live to.... that I would live.
I saw my life a grand tapestry. thought my idolatry would eventually coalesce into at least one great novel, Bildungsroman, tale of development and I guess that's been taken away from me.
and I've prepared ill-ly only exercised in beat/postmodern poetry. l will maybe soon stumble from the cliffs or handcuffed bite my wrists, and take any artery I might rend open
and all particles, unfettered, heartless bits. nonwritten novel, this is it...