I want to crack open my skull
with my black pen
wedge it open
and have a look inside
I would poke around in there
touch the worms
that crawl through the gum
the slippery grey slime
I want to **** the
black beetles that join them
I would pull the thoughts
the twisted strings wrapped
so tight around the lumps
I want to loosen their hold
if for just one night
And taking out my brain
holding it carefully in two cupped palms
I would rinse it off in the sink
the mud flowing down my hands
the dust of fatigue
mixed with mucus
sliding down my wrists
and the bugs twisting around my fingers
And I would put it back
gently settle my brain
down into the yellow soup
cleaner now
and I would sew my head back up
and flatten down my hair
wipe away the blood
and go back to sleep