i guess this
is what it comes down to
cowering in my bathroom.
trying to decide whether to get
lost between the margins of words in a book
or the pills in the cabinet.
i guess this
is what it comes down to
whether or not to count the times
in which i've wanted to disappear
times in which you're angry,
times in which i seem to always be
the source to this anger.
and you say it's not the *****.