my mind is a wonderland, the darkness it holds clouds out the light way more than it should majority of the time and I can’t seem to change that difficult fact. I want to know what its like to not be constantly drowning in my reoccurring worries and thoughts that I can never seem to get away from. I am constantly worrying that I will be left behind one day, or I will let all of the important people in my life slip through my delicate fingers because I was to worried about what the people that don’t matter would think of me. when I was a little girl, it was my mission in life to make everyone around me happy by serving them in any possible way and even compromise my own happiness and wants and needs to please the others around me, to make them have the best picture they could ever paint of me in their eyes… but the truth, is i’m not that little girl anymore, I still have my want to give to people and help them get what they want out of life… but i have a better sense of when I need to put myself first and a better sense of when I need to be last. and I think this new found fining of myself, maybe just maybe will help me from drowning in my thoughts, but instead hlp me swim to the surface and finally just…. breathe.