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Nov 2010
Blacker than the kohl of her eyeliner is the state of her soul
She lives in that darkness perennially but it's getting old
She’s tired of carrying the weight of her world but not done fighting
Trying with the strength of five thousand mother *******
Trying, fighting, carrying what was given to her by DNfuckingA
She pleads for succor,
But always;
“There’s a void that the boys can’t fill, the tipping of the bottle or the popping of the pill”
And she’s feeling the urge to regurgitate the bile created by swallowing one too many tears over a few too many years
Some nights when she lets the salt roll, functioning gets too hard to breathe...
She knows that “loving somebody won’t make them love you” but she loves away
Works towards the proverbial brighter day, struggles for the right words to say:
“I’d let you be my everything”
She knows she should be her own One and Only
If only the mirror didn’t leave her so lonely
But she’s a plain girl who knows too much cowardice and not enough self-respect
If you saw her you might detect some self-neglect
Or not
But you can bet she’ll lift others like gods
She’ll believe in the few and far between against significant odds,
Pray for strength, guidance and grace,
Keep trying, fighting, carrying hope for something to fill that empty space
And above all (if you let her)
She’ll love you better than you’ve ever known
But first her little figure will have to spurn itself until it learns what she truly needs
Videlicet, to love the garden of herself beyond its copious weeds
TinyMtn
Written by
TinyMtn  NorCal Bay Area
(NorCal Bay Area)   
603
 
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