i woke up in the spotlight
a place where i promised myself to never be in
i faced the surrounding darkness
i see familar faces staring down on me

hugging dearly to my knees,
i whispered to have inner peace,
“it's just a nightmare, i’ll wake up from this,”
tears streamed down as i rocked back and forth
with my face in knees,
the spotlight still upon me

i peeked between my knees,
i still see them staring at me,
i see everyone i knew there,
i noticed their look of disappointment being pointed at me

some mouthed words,
words i had engraved into my skin
“you're selfish, you're weak,
you'll never have a place you belong here,
you'll never be a wanted soul,"


i tried running away,
even though my feet felt numb.
i ran faraway,
feeling their gazes still upon me.
they followed me wherever i went,
they followed me in the dark.
they said,
*“you can never leave us, and you can never, ever live without us”