I am scared that I am dying
I have fallen so far into fantasy
That I have forgotten how to come home
I have lost my way of being
I am so scared
So stitched and sealed
That I think I’ll bare my vulnerable
And you won’t remember how to see me
But I want to
****** I want to
I want to be here
I am trying so hard to be here
To stand here
Sit here
And feel something
But it isn't coming together for me
The shards are not piecing themselves together as they should
And I am busy remembering to forget the breakdown
I can’t pinpoint when it came to this
I don’t know how to relax enough to figure this out
I want to live in this life
Be in this lifetime
Find a reason to stay here
Because I am missing it
And it scares me
And I am sorry if you love me
But, it’s so hard to stay here.