I find myself standing in a darkened corridor unsure of which way to go.

In one direction is my past, the other my future.

Yet from this point both look identical.

Both dimly lit and devoid of anything resembling purpose or accomplishment

There is silence but for the ticking of a clock.

The rhythm is steady and the sound deep. Mechanical in nature, like the tick of a real clock with springs and jewels and weights.

There is comfort in that, but also the realisation that proper clocks run down, and eventually stop, unless tended to.

But I know not in which direction the clock lies.

But shouldn’t there be more than this. Shouldn’t there be music, conversation, even voices from my past to remind me from whence I came? No? Then at least voices from my future to guide me forward to my destiny, surely I should know which way to go? What happened to the laughter? There was laughter in my past, and music and dancing and good times. Were they really so far back that all they are now are memories, silent memories?

But there is nothing. The torches on the wall are almost burned out and barely cast enough light for me to see where I am in this life right now, certainly not where I have been nor where I am going.

And so I sit here alone in the darkness.

I didn’t even make it to a crossroads in my life. I got turned around so often that I no longer know which way is up, or at least forward.

My biggest fear is that I will go in the wrong direction, repeat the mistakes of my past, encounter those demons I thought I had left behind and once again suffer all that pain. I barely made it through first time, I don’t think I could do it again.

I need help. maybe I have done for a while, maybe I should have seen this a long time ago, but nobody likes to admit they got it wrong, they failed.

I need a something to show me which way the clock lies, before it runs down, and stops.