Lots of people love their dogs,
weirder people love their frogs,
there are lots and lots of pets out there,
many which don't even have hair!

You could get a parrot now,
or if you had the space - a cow.
You could get yourself a bald eagle,
(even though it's totally illegal).

People will sell you any pets,
even ones that like it wet,
pets are funny, pets are neat,
but please kids,
stop throwing your pets in the streets.

Don't hit the chicks with claw hammers,
you're not "making it even", it's just bad manners.
Don't put the cats tail in paper shredder,
there's no way it'll make him look or feel better.

Don't strangle your owl,
with a towel.
Don't hang your goose,
with a noose.

Avoid these sick and twisted things,
in fact, avoid pets - just go play on the swings.