When the doctor said I didn't look healthy
I thought about you and your endless ennui
That drove you to kiss and **** all those boys
I said I don't get to sleep much
She said read your Bible
And I almost laughed out loud
But I guess I looked bewildered
I stopped believing in god when he stopped making sense
The doctor said I should stop drinking
But sleep wouldn't come and when it did
It haunted me with dreams of losing you
Over and over and over again
I wake up and I still have you but not so much
It's negligibly worse than losing you
Also ***** is my god now
The doctor said I should lose weight
She gave me a number and I wanted to storm out of the room
I saw your mocking eyes staring at me
As you touched and licked their sweaty abs and biceps
I borrowed the calculator
And I saw that all the excess weight was made up by you
So I thanked the doctor and left
I'm going to the airport today
To drop you
As you hand-carry my emotional baggage.