Tonight was
The first crescent moon in a while
And the last time your lips
Will touch mine
See I have never been one
To believe in religion
Or anything for that matter
But loving you almost makes me have to
Because how else could something feel so **** right

Tonight I learned
That attraction can not be reversed
That although
Six months have gone by
Since our skin last met
We still have magnets in our bones
Opposite particles that reach for eachother with open arms
I can not explain it
Physics is just complicated like that
I am just complicated like that
I did not mean for this to happen tonight
Retracing the maps of your body
Was not in my plans
Was not my intention
I simply wanted
Closure
But what I got tonight
Was so much more
Than that

Before tonight
I had spent months placing my rage over hot water
Letting it boil inside of me
I had spent months
Learning to hate
Knowing that the only alternative
Was to love
I had spent months
Writing solely envy and nostalgia
Hoping that a pen and some words
Were enough for you to want to let me back in

I have learned
How to ball point my feelings into letters
But not how to embrace them

See I wanted to hate you
Wanted to scoff
Roll eyes
At the thought of you

Awaiting the day
When your prescence
Would be synonymous with inexistence

But it never happened
I've learned that feelings
Can not be erased
Only covered
Shoved into corners of your mind
And attempted to be replaced
But you simply cannot
Just change something into nothing
And to me you will never be nothing

You are a flame I set inside myself
Long ago
That will never cease
Will never burn out
The fire tonight
Was only a reminder
That some things
Will never die

So I'll leave
For the other side of the country
5,000 miles away
With less weight on my usually heavy heart
Knowing that I left part of it
With you

You can have it
It is yours to keep
It always has been
And it always will be
You always will be
My first
Love.