Please
Please ask me questions
Not just any question though
Pointed questions
Specific questions
Because the truth is
No
I don't say much
I listen
I care
I respond
But when you ask about me
I'm quiet
Nothing is new
You don't get to know me
But it's not because I don't want to tell you
It's not because I don't trust you
It's because
How are you doing?
Is way too open ended
What's new?
Has too many options

Each time your lips part
Spitting out an attempt
To reach me
The debris
It accumulates
Fast
Furious
Like the remains after a hurricane
Giant logs, pieces of homes, shattered lights
They shoot to the surface
My surface
Attacking my limbs
Penetrating the delicate insides of my head

I can't think

I don't know where to start
I don't know what you want to know
I don't know where the line is
If there even is a line

So many memories
Clutter the floor of my mind
Most,
Of no relevance whatsoever
I mean
What should I say?

Should I tell you about
The time she forced me to lick chocolate syrup off his junk
While tears burned at the corners of my eyes
Eventually overflowing
Chiseling their way across my cheeks
Sliding off my chin
Slipping down
My tiny, bare body
That shook like
Streamers in the wind
Should I tell you about
The time she bit my ****** so hard
It bled for days
About how I held a tissue to it all night long
Praying desperately
To a God I wasn't even sure existed
About how
It scarred
About how
I am terrified to ever stand naked in front of anybody
In the light
Because they will see
Should I tell you that
After digging out just those two stories alone
I can't see the screen in front of me
Because water is obstructing my view

What should I tell you?
What should I say?
There are too many things
Too many potential answers
And they are all right there
Right here
Clouding my vision
Blocking my path
A strip of duct tape
Slapped across my mouth

It's in this moment
My mind goes blank
I stare ahead
I make something up
I smile
I say everything is great

But it's not
Everything is not great
Everything is the opposite of great
Everything is crashing down on top of me
Crushing me

I can't see even an inch in front of my face

I can't see
I can't think
I can't answer

I can't

So ask me questions
Please
You won't offend me
Please
Guide me
Give me some type of direction to follow
Some light to jump at
Something to help me sort through the wreckage

I can't just
Talk
I don't work like that
I've spent most of my life
Silent

But I will talk

I have plenty to say