feelings

feel so cold, nothing seems real
feel like i used to feel
when the wheels in my head
stopped going forward
went backwards instead
so many things in my head
that shouldnt be there
shouldnt be anywhere

mabye inside the mind
of some poor ******* that couldnt find
his way through life
clawing, knawing, at his own bones
all the while thinking of home
mind wandering
like mine does all the time
quoting some line
from a film or a song

convincing yourself
thers some hidden meaning in it
for why your life died
and went so badly wrong
and turned to ****

feel so lonely, if only
someone could take my pain away
pain visited me such a long time ago
and stayed
feel lost, feel the cold frost of life
sending a chill down my spine
feel numb
feel like i want to strike out
at anyone and anything
feel like my body isnt even mine

stare past my window
far far away, eyes stray
eyes discuise, the person behind the mask

eyes lie
mask wears me like a second skin
mask hides the people that are within
my head
today my mask will be; don, dedus, donna
mabye someone else instead
feel frightened
feel like i just want to be held
in the arms of someone
that can keep me safe
keep me out of my own hell
thats in my confused mind

feel like my barbedwire thoughts
are so kind, feel blind
unable to see even me
feel like i wasnt conceived
unable to believe i even exist

in this manifestation
cold invitation
of an existance , that is my life
feel like i want my wife, to sort out my life

feel like i cant feel
feel like i want to strip the skin from my bones
feel like i want to go home
feel cold, so very cold, feel old
feel alone