You wake up
Every day
A struggle
Every morning
Harder to crawl out
The safety of your covers
The only place
You can truly be alone
And cry in painful silence.
You land on your knees
Because it’s too painful
To stand on your own two feet any longer
And you fell so long ago
Sinking to them
With no audible objection
Because you’re way past broken.
This is the cycle
The rut you’re stuck in
Hopeless and wandering
Never accepted
Never truly loved
By others or yourself.
It’s a word you’re scared of
More so than death
And it aches inside you
Gnawing at your weaknesses
Magnifying your flaws
And the hate you have for yourself
And society.
But this isn’t giving up.
Even though you are indeed at rock bottom
The pain of life you barely manage through
But you’re too much of a coward
To do a graceful thing.
Giving up
Is the most beautiful thing
Of which, you are incapable.
So you continue on
Just like every day before
And every day after
And after a while,
That single, graceful thought you once had
Of truly giving up
Fades away.