When did I ever become so addicted?
Addicted to love and lust
My free time spent with wondrous thoughts of us
There is no us
I'm infatuated by your negligence
I want to be done with you
Once I get to the doctor
Make sure you haven't deceased me by the poor use of my body
If at any moment I believed you were my love for life
If at that second of drunken advantage you took
The man who I dated
The man or shall I say boy
The boy who I thought was so amazing
A great leader, you are not
How can I respect this person you've become
You are nothing
Less than a spec on my shoe
That is something you always knew
Let's hope I'm not diseased
And if I am
You aren't too far away
And I'll get my revenge someday
Although I know my Buddhist thoughts won't let me jump from my graceful ways
You have made me cry
You have made me stare at the wall the first time you walked out on me
Masochistic
I've become
I don't want to be
Gods help me
Pull me from this well I've dropped and drowned in
For I am a follower of a boys lost dreams
A boy who I dreamt and always do
Every second
Get over him
Get over him
Get over him
He's **** with a lack of respect
No integrity
No care
No man
He's so entitled
He's judgmental
We hate that
He's a liar
We hate that
He can't look in my eyes
He can't hold me at night
He has no love
He is ****
He is a battered human
With a soul that will deter from the karma he's obscured
Such a sorrow to not want me
For what I have to offer is so rare
I plead
In my mind I drift away from human kind
Out of me out of my bed out of my apt
You left me
Abandonment
Sadness
Grieving of life without your charismatic so ridiculously thought of who you were
A far fetch of how you are
I want a talk
But I wouldn't
I couldn't
Not after what you did
'twas not I on top while in a drunken night
At the bottom with a roofie in my eye
Eyes shut while my battered soul received more
Did that really happen?
You say I shouldn't drink so much but we all know what you did
I wasn't drunk
I was drugged
You are a coward
I will never bare your children
I took the pill for that
I knew you would leave me
I knew what happened would make my soul cry
It has
It does
I want something better
My angry words
I apologize
I am human in your eyes
I wish the best for you and I hope you have unconditional love for someone soon
I hope that you are blessed with all you wish for
I wish for your health
I wish for your happiness
I am grateful for the fun moments we shared and I understand that they will not happen again
I apologize for the broken words I've spilt towards you in my writings behind your back
Please understand they are to help me relax
I wish the best for you in whatever you do.