I ******* hate how much I fell for you,
How much I wish for this to be love, and to be true,
Even though we just met,
You came straight out of the blue,
And I hate how these emotions are still so new,
How many times I've felt this happy, have been so few.
I drink only to forget how foolish I've been,
Or how gullible I was way back when,
But now I'm a lost soul,
No longer the person I was back then.
But I still leave my heart out here on the line,
Just wasting my days, fishing,
Wondering when will come my time,
When will I finally feel like my soul can shine,
I'm falling apart,
Just waiting for a sign,
Pretending everything is just fine.
Dipping my toes into this water,
I think of how you already have a family,
Such a beautiful daughter,
And how so many women are so irresponsible,
Their own children they slaughter.
How much I wish to have one of my own,
But that's just a dream,
One that I cannot chase,
For there's no one that wants to be my mate,
So why even bother?

Staring at this glossy lake,
I think of how little I have left at stake,
I think I'll go for a swim, a little dip I will take,
But to come back out, is a promise I can't make.