I'm looking down
I'm standing on the edge
the water is warm and waiting.

I don't dive in
that's what's sensible
but I can't do it

I just stand on the edge of the diving board
calm and collected in appearance
petrified

I don't want to dive
I don't want to feel the fall
I don't want to hit the surface

the water no longer seems inviting
though I'm shivering in the cold air
I'm a young girl again:

afraid to get in the water
afraid to feel its warmth
afraid to be comfortable

I turn and walk away.