Nothing will end this, this ever-ending pain, this knife in my chest, it won't go, it will only dig deeper, it's determind to stay, it's hiding, waiting, hiding away.
Nothing will break this, this emptyness I feel, trying to work out what is and what isn't, trying to stay alive, just survive, trying to find the light, trying to figure out what is good, what is real.
I tried.
I did.
I promise I tried to succeed.
But all that I try, all that I do, all that I am, is not good enough, this thing, it won't leave.
Like a scent it clings, sinks into my skin,
just waiting, waiting, waiting, until I give up, until i give in.

I think to myself, long and hard, should I give in? I think that i should,
but then they win, the fear wins, and I lose, I lose to my fears and they laugh and cheer, at my failed attempt to live my life, live life in the clear.
The past won't let go, won't let go of me, it has me captive, I can no longer see, see anything, anything that is good for me, anything that will help me be, and the darkness, oh the darkness, it's waiting to pounce, when i'm nearly out of hope, nearly on the ground, then it will take me, it will take me , it will take me down, and the silence will drown, I will drown, in the silence until i'm out.

But what if I manage to see the light?
What if I can win?
what if I don't lose this fight?
what if I don't give up?
what if I don't give in?

If I win, I will tell you,
then we can laugh at the darkness as I live on through,
we can be the ones who survived,
who survived at the worste of times.

I will win.
I will survive.