I have been
Piling my boxes of missed opportunity
Cursing at time for his ability to fly so quickly
Two weeks to go
And somehow I am
Still holding hope
That it's long enough for change to move in
To the house that I am leaving
Long enough
For the flowers I've planted inside myself to bloom
I have a garden built upon all of the chances
That I let pass me by
I have wasted too many good moments
With too many bad people
Spent far too many hours
Loving those who were poison
Feeding off of their arsenic touch
I was too naive
To notice that you were sacharrin
In a pool of sour lovers
I was too naive to want to change my perspective
To see you as anything more
Than arms to run to when my own were broken
You always somehow managed
To help me stand up when my bones turned to jello
And just when I get around
To realizing how much I need that embrace of yours
To be held against you as more than just what I have always been
To be looked at beyond the level of friend
Someone else has taken shelter in your home
I waited far too long to sign the lease to your heart
Now I am counting down the days
To when I will be 5,000 miles away in distance
And I wont be able to tell you
How much you mean to me
How much knowing you these past years
Has meant to me
I told you
That I love you
But I don't think you understand
That the kind of love I have for you
Does not crave to be platonic
The kind of love I have for you
Has recently gone from smoke to forest fire
From drizzle to lightning storm
I am aware that
The kind of love I have for you
Is not a kind that will be returned
But before I leave
I felt it necessary
To take some of this weight
Off of my already heavy heart
So that I am not haunted
By things left
Unsaid
And I said it once but I feel the need to say it again
I love you
I really
really
Love you
And also thank you
For
Saving me.