You’ve taught me that
Unconditional love is more of a curse
Than a blessing
Because every part of me screams
To never forgive you
But I’m still a girl who needs her dad
And my heart will always long for you
But I can’t help to think how
You caused us such agony
When you left a loving family
For someone you just met
& it makes my heart break
To think the love I have for you
Feels as if it’s overdue
Because if you loved me
as much as I loved you
Leaving us would never be an option
& I can’t Help but feel
As if it was a personal blow when
Said you didn't love us anymore
And you left without ever turning back
And  I saw no hesitation in your step
When you chose between us or them
But the worst of all was that
I not only lost my dad but
I lost my mother as well
Because I didn’t recognize her anymore
And I couldn’t bear to see
Her deteriorating
Always stuck in bed
Unable to get up
Or complete the simplest tasks
And I feel guilty
For hating her for it
For making me comfort her
When all I wanted to be
was held
And I won't ever forgive you  
For all you've put us through;
For filling me with hate
When I saw my mom in such a state
So bruised that she called a hotel her home
For a whole month in fear
Of being seen by her family
And once again I hated her
For leaving me behind
And for wanting to protect you
So no one will know
The person you’ve become
I’ve watched my little sister cry
And beg for her dad to come home
And it truly made me sick to know
Those begs feel on empty ears
Every time you came to visit
Yet you still had the audacity to say
You were sorry
And I watched you beg us on your knees for forgiveness
That day you swore to the moon and back
That you were finally coming home
Even that night you had me fooled as
We welcomed you back with open arms
And it was the first time in weeks
I felt as if we were complete
Only for you to turn around and leave
Before we had the chance to wake up
And tell you good morning
My sister cried so hard that day
Running through the house
Asking about your whereabouts
Little did we know it wasn’t the last time you would deceive us
Living with a secret lover and child
Unable to decide
Which of us you loved more
To betray the other for
But I knew we were longing for a dad
That we had already lost
So all those half assed sorrys
Will never be accepted
Because you only came back
When she left you
And I resent my mother for
Never being strong enough
To be the first to let go
 Because you made us go through ****
We never asked for
And begging for forgiveness in the middle of the night
Once you realized you were finally alone
Wouldn’t break me this time
But screaming and pounding on our windows
To let you in
Or you'll **** yourself
Only made it hurt more
And when my mom opened that door
To tell  you to leave
And stop causing a scene
All you could do was scream  
That you were going to commit suicide
At that moment
I didn't feel a thing
I saw you grab the gasoline
And chug it down
My mom shoving  her fingers down your throat
Screaming for help
And I just remember standing there
Not saying a word
I don't remember being sad
I can't imagine why