Are there any alternatives to this?

Any alternatives at all?

Because, I see the scars.

I see the blood splattered on the wall.

To know I've made many mistakes.

To say I'd never go back.

But, that's not true.

I went back to the blade.

Both catalysts.

Epic.

And

Mundane.

I found a new purpose.

To live on the edge of a blade.

And, the feeling of...

Being...

Alone

Worthless

And..

Scared

Wasn't enough to get me there.

And, what if I lied?

Said that I'd try something else?

But didn't even try.

I did lie.