I had to watch you float away from my fingers.
Your name grew heavy on my heart, and dropped my jaw every time I whispered your name.
I could feel my eyes go out of focus, and I just stare blankly at any object nearby.
Time flew past me, the days grew long, but the months became quick memories that molded together making it feel like just yesterday it happened.
I knew I could never speak to you again, so I only spoke to you in my dreams.
You didn’t have to say anything though.
Just watching you stand there on the pier, with your white sundress that came to just above your knees was all I needed to see.
Are you still as pretty as I remember you? Or am I just mixing the fantasy of my perfect woman and your imperfections creating a whole different you.
I never knew anymore, time has passed and  I have forgotten what it feels like to be truly loved by a woman.
Feeling her warmth, not just by heart, but to bed with you.
I even began to question was it even a woman I so yearned to bed with and feel loved, or to try and convince myself to bed with a fellow man, and only try to feel loved.
I didn’t care anymore.
I still stare blankly, now to a different view.
I stare into the blankness of my own mind, as if rolling back my eyes and looking into myself.

Its what I don’t see that scares me.